Recently, there was a 2022 Dating Wrapped TikTok trend. I’ve had no interest in dating since my last relationship ended in 2020, so I have no dating stories to share. What I do have, however, are 22 red flags from previous relationships.
This list is in no particular order. Some red flags apply to multiple relationships, while some people are such winners they have multiple red flags on this list. I’ve written this as if I’m talking to my younger self, so I hope you enjoy.
Red Flag Number 1: You’re not into him.
Stop dating people you don’t like! Dating for validation and to avoid old pain will get you nowhere. Nurturing damaged or broken people may feel good at first, but they’re just taking advantage of you. One day you’ll become painfully aware of these patterns, and you’ll see that you deserve better.
Red Flag Number 2: He tells you to your face he’s taking advantage of you, while asking for your credit card.
You’re shocked, but you want so desperately to be loved and needed that you pretend it’s no big deal. Girl, he admitted he’s using you. He’s not going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly be a good person.
Red Flag Number 3: He dates your friends before dating you!
The excuse was, “I thought you were in a relationship.” The truth of the matter is, you were last in line on his list and the relationship was over before it even started.
Red Flag Number 4: He insists on moving in with you when you’ve never met in person.
This is impulsive, irresponsible, shows a clear lack of respect for boundaries, and incredibly dangerous. This will make you very uncomfortable, but you’ll believe you’re helping him and allow it anyway.
Red Flag Number 5: He refuses to claim you in public or on social media.
He’s either dating multiple people, or he’s ashamed of you. This is not a relationship worth pursuing. You deserve better! Comments like, “Who’s the lucky guy” on your Facebook posts about your relationship aren’t cute or funny. The truth is, you know this, but you’ll let it slide anyway.
Red Flag Number 6: He depends on substances and video games to get through the day.
This relationship is going nowhere fast. It will end with him running home to his mommy (yes, really) and projecting all his issues onto you, and you’ll be left to pick up all the pieces of your broken heart. This is after you’ve provided for him for months, when you were struggling to make ends meet yourself.
Red Flag Number 7: You’re dating him for your dad’s approval.
Your dad isn’t dating him, girl, you are! Stop seeking your parents’ approval, and live for you!
Red Flag Number 8: He lies to others about your appearance.
While meeting you for the first time, he’s on the phone with a friend, who asks, “Is she tiny?” He replies, “Yes,” and then aggressively hugs you to him and whispers, “You are tiny.” The feeling of shame floods your body.
Red Flag Number 9: His married ex-girlfriend stalks your tweets while you’re together.
You may be together; he may claim he’s going to move in with you and that he wants to marry you, but he’s still keeping other connections alive. You don’t have all of him and you never will. Run!
Red Flag Number 10: He flinches when you hug him for the first time.
He tries to recover quickly, but you notice and it hurts. You’ll spend the weekend pretending it never happened. He’ll leave and never treat you the same again.
Red Flag Number 11: He’s trying to talk to you while he’s with someone else, or while you’re with someone else.
Either way, this shows he doesn’t respect relationships. If he’ll cheat with you, he’ll cheat on you. It’s that simple.
Red Flag Number 12: He displays anger and self-control issues.
This scares you, but it also feels normal. You think you can keep the peace, but you can’t. The violent outbursts will get worse, and you’ll completely shut down from all the stress you’re under.
Red Flag Number 13: He pressures you to do things you don’t want to do.
Encouraging someone to step out of their comfort zone is one thing, but pressuring someone to do things they aren’t comfortable with is not okay. No means no, period. Girl, you’re allowed to say no.
Red Flag Number 14: He takes no accountability and talks negatively about all his exes.
Even if it’s just that he has a broken picker, he played a part in all his previous relationships. If he can’t see the role he plays in things that happen to him, run! You’ll never get anywhere with him, and you’ll be blamed for everything!
Red Flag Number 15: He aggressively grabs you and tries to kiss you when you just met.
This is even worse when it’s someone you’re not into, but you don’t want to hurt his feelings. He overreacts to every perceived rejection, so you’re trying to figure out how to keep him from going off the deep end. This is not okay.
Red Flag Number 16: He’s a taker, not a giver.
If you’re always doing things for him and getting nothing in return, save yourself the heartbreak and end it now.
Red Flag Number 17: He never has time for you.
Everyone has time for the people they prioritize. If you’re not a priority to him, leave.
Red Flag Number 18: He love bombs you and plans out your future together early on.
If he’s telling you how amazing you are, that he’s been watching you for awhile, and that he really wants you two to be some kind of power couple, run! Ultimately, he’ll groom someone else to be his next girlfriend while you’re together. He’ll end things with you and play the victim on social media. Gross! You don’t need it!
Red Flag Number 19: He humiliates you in public or on social media.
He’ll try to play it off, but there is no innocent explanation for this. The intention was to hurt you. You deserve better!
Red Flag Number 20: He comes to visit you, only to try to get with your friend instead.
He’ll act hurt when you suddenly turn cold toward him, because he doesn’t realize you know about his games. You’ll be uncomfortable for the rest of his visit, but you won’t pursue the relationship further. Good for you!
Red Flag Number 21: He spends your money.
You don’t have to give your money, your food, and your body to people who will never love you back. It isn’t worth it.
Red Flag Number 22: He doesn’t respect your boundaries.
If he’s constantly talking about or doing things that make you uncomfortable, distance yourself from him and find better.