A conversation I had with someone earlier today inspired me to share something I wrote years ago. Sometimes we meet people, and they know exactly what to say to bypass all of our defenses. They're showing us who they want us to see, and in turn, we are projecting onto them all of our hopes and dreams. We may notice something feels off, but we will ignore all the red flags anyway, because we want our intuition to be wrong. People aren't able to maintain the mask forever, so once it starts to slip and we see the real them, we have an opportunity to move on. We can finally make peace with the fact that the person we liked, or maybe even thought we loved, wasn't real. Once their mask breaks down, so does the connection. Of course, the earlier this happens, the easier it is to let go. Once someone shows you who they are and how they really feel, believe them. The longer you hold on hoping for the person they were before to reappear, the more it will hurt. It's better to separate the person you thought you knew from who they really are, and to grieve the ghost who never really existed.
Here's what I wrote. 💙
The Apparition
He was kind, caring, compassionate, patient, understanding.
He was strong, stable, affectionate, empathetic, loving.
I felt safe, supported, accepted, and wanted.
I believed in him, I believed in us.
I fell in love with
Someone who didn't exist.
He was a figment of my imagination, the man of my dreams.
A costume, a disguise for the fraud who lied beneath.
The man I trusted, who I connected with soul to soul
Was not the same man who followed me home.
He was a ghost of a man who was once perfection
A demon who showed me nothing but cold-hearted rejection.
He took what he wanted from me, sucking me dry.
He devalued me, threw me away, and then moved on with pride.
It's hard grieving a loss, accepting a death
But this man was never real and must be put to rest.
So goodbye to the man I once loved, who I wish were real.
May he rest in peace and may the demon he became finally heal.